• “[30] is the perfect age. You’re old enough to afford the good stuff and still young
enough to enjoy it!”
• “Happy [90th] Birthday, [Nana Betty]! Today, we’re celebrating the amazing [woman]
you are, honoring the life you’ve lived and, just like always, loving you so much!”
Writing tip: Ages 16, 18, 21, 30, 40, 50, 60, 65, 70, 75, 80, 85, 90, 95 and 100 are traditionally
considered milestones. Cards specific to these birthdays will feature the age number prominently
in their design, but you can make any card a milestone card (or any birthday a milestone
birthday) by writing that shiny new age number somewhere in your personal message.
Funny Birthday Wishes
Sharing a laugh in a funny birthday card is a great way to personalize a card for someone you
know well. Wisecracks about getting older, jokes about over-indulging, gags about gifts (or the
lack thereof)—all are good possibilities for funny messages.
Examples
• “Happy birthday to my favorite former punk rocker!” (Or: hippie, goth, Valley Girl,
grunge rocker)
• “From one of your favorite bad influences” (Added after the card’s printed “Happy
Birthday”)
• “Hope it’s happier than me at a shoe sale!” (or: spa, bar, coffee shop, beach.)
• “You get to be the center of attention today! Tomorrow it’s back to me.
• “Have a martini for me! Or two!” (Or: substitute recipient’s favorite drink.)
• “I think this is the year you get a pony! JK That’s never.”
• “Happy birthday to you and your cat! (I know how the cat hates to be left out.)”
• “May the cake calories go straight to your boobs!”
• “To quote Shakespeare: ‘Party thine ass off!’”
• “Dibs on the presents you don’t like!”
• “You totally don’t look like crap at all!”
• “I hope all your wishes come true, even the weird ones.”
• “Sorry there’s no money in here.”
• “Please stop aging so gracefully. It’s getting kind of boring and predictable.”
• “Have a great day, you old geezer! (Takes one to know one, right?)”
Writing Tip: Try to sound like talking. Like, if you say “like” all the time, write “like” a lot. It’s
OK and it’s, like, more personal and the person can kind of hear you talking and from there, you
can refer to something funny that happened and they’ll laugh because, like, it totally reminds
them of when the funny thing happened!
Belated
Late really is better than never! If life, memory lapse or alien abduction has interfered with the
timely delivery of your card, send it anyway. You can include a sincere or humorous
apology…or just frame it as your way of extending the birthday fun!