said, "Well, I have all this student loan debt." And dad asked me how much I had. And I told him
and he said, "How did you accumulate that much student loan debt?" He said, “We paid for your
college.” I said, "No, dad, you paid for my tuition, you didn't pay for all of it." And dad said, "Yes,
we did." And I said, "No, you didn't. Mom gave me money to cover my tuition and told me I had
to take out loans to cover my housing." And dad looked at me funny. And I said, "Dad, how
much money did you give mom to give to me, every semester?" And he said, "$11,000." So,
dad was giving mom $11,000 that he thought was going to me. I was only getting roughly
$3,000 of it.
Phoebe Judge: When you were 19 and your mother was helping you dig out and correct your
credit, or suggesting that you go and talk to an agency, the police, she was working against
herself.
Axton Betz-Hamilton: She was. But I think, in a way, and dad, my dad and I have talked about
this. I would tell my mom exactly what I was doing to try and catch the identity thief. And I think
what my mom was doing with that information was using it to stay a step ahead of me the entire
time.
Phoebe Judge: What about your father? I mean, also really sad for your father, right?
Axton Betz-Hamilton: It is. Because my father spent 46 years with my mother. And, you know,
dating, and then engaged, and then married. And they... Had my mother lived through all of
2013, they would have been married 39 years. And my dad has said things like, you know,
"Wow, I really wasted my life." And... No, no he didn't. But it's really hard for him. Because his
reality and what he knew, and the life he was working hard to build was all built on lies,
essentially, for all of these years. And so, at his age, that realization and having to adapt to that,
I think has been more difficult for him.
Phoebe Judge: Do you think that they were in love?
Axton Betz-Hamilton: I believe my dad was head over heels in love with my mother. And even
was until, through her dying day. And one of the interesting aspects of this, and this is coming
from my research training, is when people pass away there's usually some sort of confession of
sorts if they've done something wrong. You know, they don't wanna pass to the afterlife without
confessing their sins or they feel guilt and they know that the family members are going to have
to deal with some sort of mess. And we didn't get that from mom at all. There was never any
indication that anything was wrong. There was never any flash of guilt. And before my mom
became ill with cancer, I had received a national award for my child identity theft research and
outreach at a conference in Indianapolis. And my parents came to the awards dinner so they
could see me get the award. And there's a picture that was taken of the three of us, with me
holding my plaque and I'm standing in the middle. And dad is to the right of me and mom is to
the left. And mom is just beaming in that picture. She's smiling from ear to ear. And, a person
who had guilt wouldn't be smiling from ear to ear that their daughter has just received an award
for child identity theft outreach when they're the one who's caused it. So, that got me thinking
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