But I return to my inquiry: Whether for those making a long journey it happens that one
part of the way is tiring, another easy. For so it is with us that Your forbearance, God, has
slackened little by little toward human crimes, and under the heavy burden of Your yoke, the
Omnipotent now must set down His provisions, and You, the best traveler, no longer able to
support us, throws us onto Your back and in Your anger avert Your eyes of mercy from us. What
if we are making atonement not just for our crimes, but also for those of our fathers, whether
these be worse I do not know, but certainly they were more pitiable. Or could it be perhaps
that certain great truths are to be held suspect, that God does not care for mortal men? But let
us drive these foolish thoughts from our minds. If God did not care for us, there would be
nothing left to sustain us. For who will provide these necessities for us, if they are not
attributed to God, but to nature; what feeling will be left to us, why give ourselves over to the
quest for truth? Since Seneca calls most ungrateful all those who neglect their duties to God,
under a different name, are they not denying His due of heavenly majesty by impiously mocking
Him? Surely You do care for us and our affairs, God. But there is some reason, hidden and
unknown to us, why down through all the ages we, who are the most dignified of Your
creatures, seem to be the ones most severely punished. Not that Your justice is less because it
is concealed, for the depth of Your judgements is inscrutable and inaccessible to human senses.
Therefore either we are truly the worst of all beings, which I would like to deny but dare not, or
God is reserving us for some future good the more He is exercising and purging us from these
present evils, or there is something there that we are altogether unable to conceive. In any
case, whatever the reasons may be and however many are hidden from us, the results are most
evident…
Where are our sweet friends now? Where are the beloved faces? Where are the
agreeable words, where the soothing and pleasant conversation? What lightning bolt devoured
them? What earthquake overturned them? What storm submerged them? What abyss
swallowed them? Once we were all together, now we are quite alone. We should make new
friends, but where or with whom, when the human race is nearly extinct, and it is predicted
that the end of the world is soon at hand? We are—why pretend? —truly alone . . . You see
that our great band of friends is reduced in number. And behold, even as we speak we too are
drifting apart, and we vanish like shadows. And in the same moment that one hears that the
other is gone, he is soon following in his footsteps. . . .
Never does it seem to me to be a sadder occasion than when one inquires with
trepidation after a friend. How goes it? How is our friend doing? But as soon as he has heard
you say “farewell,” he is filled with dread and very quickly his face is wet with tears. And indeed
he—I cannot say this without shedding many tears, and I would shed many now when I say this,
except that with all the evil events that have happened these eyes have become exhausted and
I would rather save all the rest of my tears, if there are any left, for when they are needed – I
say that he is suddenly seized by this pestilential disease, which is now ravaging the world,
toward evening, after a dinner with friends and that at sundown he goes to bed, after having
digested so much from our conversation in the remembrance of our friendship and our exploits
together. He passes that night among his last sorrows in a greatly terrified frame of mind. But in
the morning he succumbs to a quick death, and as if this misfortune were not enough, within
three days, his sons and all his family follow him.