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her that was most benign or most dangerous, giving the need. The test being, if my
curiosity is peaked, if I am driven to the brink, will I brave the past and save my sister
from the clutches of Hell? I didn’t have to find out because the woman began to stir,
though she was mumbling verses in Spanish and another language that must have been
angelic, or satanic, because it defied rhetoric and simply moved between a soft rumbling,
warbling, felt almost in the heart, and a soul-lifting lightness that I had never experienced
in ear-shot of any language on the face of the earth.
As she sputtered out the words, her tongue lolling over the incantations, the soft
spells, the consonants of despair and adulation, a black metal plastic poked out of the
corner of her mouth, it was a film strip, black and white but with bursts of color. That
was the thing she’d been laboring over, trying to hawk up. It came out now, as she
gagged, at every pause she choked, the material scraping the inside of her throat, toying
with her epiglottis, it projected on the adobe wall of my casita as it turned out of her
throat like the arc of a black and grey rainbow that had wanted to find its own path out of
the clouds, the rheumy storm clouds of the woman’s advanced stage lung cancer chest.
Projected there, I only saw snippets, flashes, that were memories of that life I led
before, that life that still existed in my mind as a hazy, far-off nightmare, but a nightmare
that was so clever, so surreal, so deadly, that you would swear it was just an ordinary
dream, until something shifts, some small thing, some signal—usually to a horror-movie
audience, the way a woman watches ketchup slowly disappear down the drain, the way a
wind chime clanks in view of the swing-set that is vacant of children. Something like
that, was what I was watching for, something that signaled that shift, prepared me now,
as I was not prepared then, to deal with the terror story that would presently sweep me